Columbus’s Cake / The Sea and Cake / Columbus Needs to Get Laid / Columbus Getting Married / Columbus at the Wedding / Frosting / Anything
Columbus skims a lick of frosting off the corner of the cake and slips the lick in his mouth and licks his lips. Good frosting! he thinks. Good frosting indeed! The cake is shaped like a ship, with frothy blue waves of frosting surrounding the ship. A nautical themed wedding! What a jest! The cake to frosting ratio feels right. Not too much frosting, not too little. He should be happy, the frosting is delicious, and Filipa, if all goes as planned, will finally put out tonight. It doesn’t matter. What he wants is to walk down to the water and watch the breakers break on the rocks. He wants to walk down to the water with the cake in his arms and watch it float off on a silver platter, the salt eating away at the frosting. He wants to take his telescope down to the water and watch the cake crest and fall and get licked by dolphins. Ah, shit! Get away from the cake! Stupid dolphins! A pack of mackerel will swim by and the dolphins will swim off after them. On an island far off the coast, the cake will be offered as a sacrifice to the god of the moon. The silver platter will be used to smash the skulls of buffalo.
