Thomas Blood
Blood by name, Blood by nature: brave, desperate Thomas, from kidnap to Romford quack, royal-lover, royal-baiter, (crown)-jewel thief, block headed Roundhead, Blood feuds his speciality. Born in Co. Clare, a blacksmith's son in white gloves, Civil War, Charles recalled and Ormonde bore the brunt. Land grant, settled act, castle stormed, guards disarmed, Blood vengeance, Buckingham blamed. Black Maria wed. Ayloffe laughed.
Orb down the pants, crown squashed, sceptre split, farce most royal, a gallant attempt. Globe recovered, Blood discovered, death would be his, but the King lets him live, with five hundred pounds for return of the crown, Bloody but unbowed, pardon most royal - Blood will out.
Celebrate his daring, his derring-do, his rapscallion rascally ways, his Irish craic; not so much kissing the Blarney stone as a Bloody snog.
