The Year Coffee Won
She passed by the Queen's Lane Coffee House for the sixth time that evening for the last time ever.
Three weeks had passed since her husband had slept with her and she didn't know what to do about it. Women weren't allowed inside any of the coffeehouses in England, so she couldn't go inside to get him. She paced back and forth, giving the tinted windows sidelong glances in hopes of seeing the faintest trace of him.
He knew this, sat way in the back, and continued to drink coffee. He didn't love her anymore. Coffee had told him this.
She started seeing a number of women who had been widowed by the coffee houses. She started the first women-only teahouse at her estate. They got together for afternoon tea, talked about the problems they had with their husbands, and they usually had sex with each other. The catalyst was the bergamot infused tea. After one of the clerks at the market told her that it was a powerful aphrodisiac, she bought a vial of bergamot oil and poured it on all of the black tea at home in the hopes of reigniting his passion for her. He didn't drink tea anymore so it never worked on him. Her guests on the other hand were very susceptible to the concoction.
She fell in love for the first time with one of the ladies. She didn't know what to do after the initial shock of realizing she had never loved her husband.
They continued sleeping with each other while their husbands spent more and more time at the coffeehouses. After a couple of months, some of women stopped coming to the teahouse and became more vocal about their problems. They printed an anonymous pamphlet entitled "The Excessive Use of that Newfangled, Abominable, Heathenish Liquor called COFFEE has Eunucht our Husbands, and Crippled our more kind Gallants, that They have become as Impotent as Old Men."
More women started speaking out. It became a huge social issue. As the matter received more attention, more husbands started returning home.
In desperation, she and her lover began to drink coffee.
Soon there after they fell out of love.
Society was saved.
